The Work Obsession: High Stress Workplaces as an Escape from Emotions

In today's fast-paced world, it's not uncommon for individuals to immerse themselves in their work as a way to cope with or avoid underlying emotional issues. What starts as a desire to succeed, build skills, and feel fulfilled can absolutely take over the identity, personality and mental energy of those who feel uncomfortable with their emotional landscape. The dynamics of work obsession and its connection to emotional avoidance stretch across totally different work environments- anything from high pressure finance jobs, to the constant stress of first responder careers, to healthcare and helping professions, to physically demanding labor.

The Allure of Busyness

In our society, there's a glorification of busyness and productivity. Many people wear their packed schedules and overflowing to-do lists as badges of honor, equating success with the quantity of tasks accomplished. In high-stress workplaces, this culture of busyness can reach fever pitch, with individuals constantly striving to outperform themselves and their peers.

For some, the frenetic pace of work becomes a refuge from inner turmoil. Rather than confronting uncomfortable emotions such as anxiety, sadness, or loneliness, individuals throw themselves into their work, finding temporary solace in the flurry of activity. However, this relentless pursuit of productivity often comes at a cost, leading to burnout, strained relationships, and a sense of emptiness.

Many therapists I work with and tons of my clients find themselves in this cycle, feeling constantly stressed and overworked, but not being able to imagine a life where they slow down.

Avoidance of Vulnerability

Emotions can be messy and unpredictable, stirring up feelings of vulnerability and discomfort. In an effort to maintain a sense of control and competence, individuals may instinctively avoid confronting their emotional landscape. High-stress workplaces offer a convenient distraction, providing a constant stream of tasks and deadlines to focus on instead of delving into the complexities of one's inner world.

By burying themselves in work, individuals create a buffer between themselves and their emotions, effectively numbing the pain or discomfort they may be experiencing. However, this avoidance strategy is unsustainable in the long run and can lead to a deepening sense of disconnection from oneself and others.

I have often noticed that those who struggle with a certain perceived emotional ‘weakness’ choose a career path that requires them to act directly opposed to that perceived weakness. For example, those who struggle with assertiveness in their personal life often choose careers where they are required to be consistently direct, assertive, and bold. They develop a sense of confidence in previously challenging situations that is enabled by being in their ‘work zone’.

Recognizing the Cycle

Part of my role is to help individuals recognize the patterns and cycles that keep them trapped in a state of emotional avoidance. By shining a light on the connection between work obsession and underlying emotions, we can begin to unravel the layers of avoidance and cultivate greater self-awareness.

It's essential for individuals to acknowledge that while work can provide a temporary distraction and also build confidence and competence, it is not a substitute for genuine emotional healing and self-care. Ignoring or suppressing emotions only prolongs the pain, ultimately manifesting in physical symptoms, mental health issues, or relational difficulties.

If you find yourself unable to turn off the work anxieties, having difficulty sleeping because you are replaying your work day, unable to take personal time or take care of yourself, or sacrificing your real life and relationships for work- a change is necessary.

Embracing Emotional Well-Being

True emotional well-being involves embracing the full spectrum of human experience, including the uncomfortable and challenging emotions we may prefer to avoid. Instead of viewing emotions as adversaries to be conquered, we can learn to cultivate a compassionate and curious attitude toward our inner world.

Therapy provides a safe and supportive space for individuals to explore their emotions, uncovering the underlying beliefs and experiences that shape their behavior. Through techniques such as mindfulness, self-compassion, and cognitive-behavioral strategies, individuals can develop healthier coping mechanisms and cultivate resilience in the face of stress.

Feeling disconnected, distressed, and on autopilot can easily take over with work obsession taking up your mental space and energy. No matter how fulfilling your career is to you, feeling overstimulated, emotionally drained, and unavailable is not sustainable.

By fostering a deeper understanding of the relationship between work and emotions, individuals can cultivate greater self-awareness and resilience, leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life. Together, we can navigate the complexities of the human experience and embrace the richness of our emotional landscape.

Sometimes my clients tell me a sad truth- one of the absolute most freeing feelings when they walk into my office is the ability to put their phone on DO NOT DISTURB and have time to breathe and just be with themselves. I aim to help my clients build value in those moments until they feel empowered and inspired enough to do the same outside the four walls of therapy.